I remember how the office smelled. I remember the rough feel of the table under my hands and the tears stinging my eyes. I remember exactly what his voice sounded like — gentle, soothing, pleading, and full of a passion I did not understand.
“I can’t”, I whispered.
“You can.”
“It’s not that easy. You don’t understand.”
“Do you believe that God can forgive you?”
“Yes . . . but . . .”
“When God forgives you, He separates your sin as far from you as the east is from the west. That’s a straight line, Kris. If God can forgive you, you can forgive yourself.”
This was the single most important conversation of my life — talking with Tom, my friend and pastor, about the guilt and shame that was eating my soul. I left that day thinking that God probably could forgive me, not sure that He would, and not convinced that His forgiveness was really what I needed.
Even so, that conversation was the turning point for me.
That day God began working on my heart and, little by little, God replaced the guilt, hurt, and shame that characterized my life with His love, joy, and peace. I’m not the same woman who sat in Tom’s office over 20 years ago.
Talking about God is easy for me. Most of my friends are Christians and it’s easy to talk to people who believe like I do, but I’ve struggled with how to accurately represent the Savior who changed my life to those outside my Christian circles.
I know broken, hurting people searching for meaning and hope who do not want to hear about Jesus. I know people who have been shunned by their families and labeled by society who do not want to hear about Jesus. I know people bound to guilt and shame over choices they’ve made who do not believe God will offer them forgiveness. I know people who believe, truly believe, that Jesus has nothing to offer them.
And now I understand the passion I heard in Tom’s voice all those years ago. I understand the pleading just below his gentle tone. He knew what I did not. He knew that I needed Jesus. So, he gave me a gift. He told me and showed me, time and time again, in more ways than I can count, that God loves me and that the peace I was looking for could be found in Jesus and the forgiveness He offers.
My pastor didn’t try to change me. He told me that God loves me . . . and let God do the rest.
Today I realized that Pastor Tom gave me another gift. He showed me how to share Christ with those who don’t want to hear about Jesus or who don’t believe that Jesus is the answer they are looking for. I just need to do what he did with me so many years ago: show them and tell them, in every way I can, that God loves them and then trust God to do the rest.
I may not see what grows from the seeds I plant. I just need to tell them the truth.
God loves you.
Jesus died for you.
You can be forgiven.
You can have peace and joy.
It’s not my responsibility to “fix” anyone. God can do a much better job than I ever could. He’s had a plan all along.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. {John 3:16-17}
Whether you’re searching for peace or love someone who is, Jesus is the answer.
If you are searching, it is my prayer that you will listen . . . God loves you. No matter where you are, God loves you. He offers the peace, fulfillment, meaning, and satisfaction you are looking for.
If you are trying to “fix” someone who is searching, it is my prayer that you will tell them that God loves them, in every way you can . . . and trust God to do the rest.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kris,
I really needed this post this morning. I love and I pray for my son who is looking for peace. I try to lovingly let him know where it can be found. I can take the horse to water….but unfortunately I can’t make him drink. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. I get frustrated because I want to “fix” the situation. As a parent I want to scream sometimes, “The gift is right there…pick it up!” This all comes back to trusting God and His perfect timing. I will continue to love and pray and pour out God’s love….after that I need to lay it at the feet of Jesus. Poignant and perfectly timed post, Kris.
Blessings,
Bev
Linda Miltzow says
Bev, how a mama’s heart hurts when we see our kids struggle. Even as adults, maybe especially as adults. We know what they should do, how much peace it will bring, and joy, such joy. But a decision for Christ has to be personal, or I am sure those of us with a passion for the lost (especially the lost within our own families) would have said “yes” for everyone who hesitates to make that commitment.
As Kris stated so beautifully, tell them in everyday you can and trust God to do the rest…Proverbs 3:5-6 is my life verse and I lean on that heavily each day…”Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding…”
Praying that today may be filled with the understanding of just how much God loves us.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Linda,
Yes, I repeat that verse to myself many times…and I remind myself that with God ALL things are possible…He is ABLE! Thanks for your encouragement here!
Blessings,
Bev
Selina says
Bev,
My prayer is that your son will find Jesus and that Jesus will keep filling you up with his love, hope and faith so that you can express his heart to your son.
Bless you and your family!
🙂
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Selina,
Thank you for your sweet prayer for my son!! I’ll just keep loving on my son and let God do the rest…
Blessings,
Bev
Gail Noe says
Well Said. I know where you are at. Mine biggest test of trusting right now is my husband. God is so faithful and continues to give me the words of Life, Truth, Hope and Love I need to trust in levels I have never trust before. Excited to see what God will do and how.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Gail,
Praying for your husband along with my son…God IS able!!
Blessings,
Bev
Kris says
Oh Bev,
I’m praying for your mommy-heart. I know you want so much for your sweet son to turn to Christ. Praying for perfectly timed words to touch His heart. God is in the soul saving business. He is trustworthy. As you can see from all the comments, you are not alone. What a blessing to know that, as Christian women, we can lean on each other and support each other…and remind each other that God is in control. Thank you all for your sweet comments. I am so thankful that God allows me to serve Him.
It is overwhelming to see how many of you have people in your lives who do not recognize their desperate need for Jesus. Breaks my heart. So very thankful that God put each of YOU in their lives to shine light in dark places!!!!
Much love and big hugs to all of you!!!
An says
Bev, dear sister, right here with you praying for your beautiful son, that the Lord gently touches His heart to draw near to Him. Its so hard to trust sometimes when we want them to know the peace that passes all understanding, the love that the Lord lavishes, the forgiveness, but I have found that sometimes He uses things and people in ways that plant the seeds only He can grow. Praying that the Lord encourages and lifts you up today in His love ad hope, helping you to be the encouragement and example of His love for your son whose prayers till the soil of your souls 🙂
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
An,
As usual, your words and prayers are a balm to my soul…
Thank you sweet friend,
Bev xx
Sandy says
I feel the same way about my daughter and for years panic-stricken when I thought of her dying without knowing Him…I am slowly becoming more peaceful remembering He loves her way more than I do, so will bring her (and her family) to Him in His time…and then sometimes I slide back and panic again!!
Augusta says
Praying for your son to find peace in Christ.
Beth Williams says
Bev,
Praying for your son also! May God do a heart change in him and turn him back.
Paulette M Sackett says
Bev, I have two teenage boys and read this post in the same way you did. You are not alone, sister, and Satan can NOT have our children. “The fervent prayer of a righteous (meaning imperfect but sanctified by Jesus) man (or woman) availeth much” James 5:16
Katie says
Great article! I’m praying for a friend in her 40s who used to know the Lord but is away from Him now. She’s going through a divorce and she’s reached out to us several times for prayer, so this word came at a good time.
Bertha says
Thank you for the encouraging words. I recall experiencing a similar situation where I fell in sin and repeatedly went to the altar crying out to God for His forgiveness. My pastor kept telling me The Lord has forgiven me-it was just too hard to receive God’s Love. Our Lord can reach where no man can go. Into the depths of our soul and lovingly wash us clean! Ty
Michele Morin says
Kris, your words are very helpful, because I frequently encounter people who are either so “together” that I know they don’t think they need Jesus — or they are broken into so many pieces I don’t feel “qualified” to speak into their lives. I realize that neither is true, and both categories of people have equal need to the Truth.
Thank you!
Adeola Odutola says
Thank you for I am at the end of my tether, I work among unbelievers who are hell bent on turning me into an apostate. There is one among them who knows the truth but would not allow any to come into the knowledge of the truth lest she loses her strangled on them. For 6weeks she was away but even from where she was is still able to manipulate their minds, so I said , Lord I don’t know what to do for she’s back and just took of from where she left off. Suddenly last week I heard ,” tell them as far as the east is from the west so have I taken away their sin’s,” I hesitated and reasoned with Him that they wouldn’t understand the context of where I was coming from. I had forgotten it was not about doing anything logical as illogical as it seemed to me , I am really sorry Lord , I missed the help You sent.
Priscilla Randle says
YES! Thank you so much for your testimony! Just share the truth of who God is, and let HIM do the rest.
Judith says
Thanks for this! I take the response upon myself. This reminds me that I am doing enough:) love, speak truth, leave the rest to God through prayer!
Nicole Phillips says
Kris, this was so encouraging and freeing to me. I love love love Jesus, but I struggle with the “formula” for what people need to do to be saved. I’ve been taught the ABC method of salvation but I panic sometimes about getting the wording wrong. GAH! So nice to get out of my own head by remembering I just need to love people (and share with them out of that love) and God will do the rest. Thank you!
Debi G. says
I’m really struggling with this right now, in regards to one special friend. She believes in reincarnation, & I don’t argue with her about the truth she doesn’t know. In a way, I was thinking of sending this email to her. But, I think there must be a better way. If I send it in an email, she might reject the article & reject me. I know the Lord wants me to share his love with her, but it needs to be personal, so she can respond to me, ask questions, discuss, if she wants. I love her, & want to spend eternity with her.
Pearl @ Look Up Sometimes says
Thank you, Kris! Well said. Love this!
Debi G. says
Having read a few of the above posts, I feel I must share my experience with you. As my son grew up, I tried my best to instill the love of God in his heart & thoughts. As he became a teenager, he began to rebel & reject the Lord. But, God gave me a verse that I believe was a promise of God. “Raise up a child up in the way he should go, & when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I fervently claimed this verse for many years, trusting God to keep His word. A series of things miraculously happened that drew my son to God, through a Christian young man who my son said was a true example of Christianity. He was going to university, studying music. Then, he decided to switch his major to Theology. He has grown in his faith, for which I am so thankful. Now, years later, he has a lovely wife & 3 beautiful children, who he is raising up in the way they should go. Thank you, Lord.
G. says
I’ve followed incourage for a while, but rarely comment since it’s hard for me to relate to some of the spiritual experiences of the authors, but this, Kris, is one of the best posts I’ve read on incourage.
When I read:
“God loves you.
Jesus died for you.
You can be forgiven.”
I said to my spouse, “That’s it! There is the Gospel in plain language!” I can surely relate to that!
No religion offers scandalous forgiveness – it’s always merit based. Buddhists probably experience a lot more stress-free days than me with all the meditation and soul searching, and Muslims pray 100 times more than I do. I don’t know about you, but I have made too many mistakes to have any skin in the game – it’s that daily forgiveness that I need. Thank God for Christ.
Kris, thanks for the clear Gospel message! I will share this with my friends and family. I’d love to read more posts like this, as the forgiveness of Christ is the most encouraging thing to me and others. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Gail Noe says
Thank you. Well said. Look at my reply to Bev’s comment to see where I am at. Trusting in a loving Father who knows how to meet my needs.
An says
Kris, I praise the Lord for this wonderful posting that you have written. I struggle at times knowing how to speak to others about Jesus as a new disciple, there are days that I struggle being His, but the Lord showed me to be the example-salt, to speak the Word-lamp, be in community-the city on the hill. I have people in my life who I long to see His, but I remind myself to pray that He changes me, to give me the words, of Proverbs 3:4-7 (I love this one, Linda :)) and this prayer:
Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things– St. Teresa of Avila
Its hard to be patient as He tills the soil of their souls, making it receptive to the seeds He has others plant, seeds that He can grow so that His love blooms into their hearts. I’ve learned that sometimes the changes are so small in someone that only He sees-its like you said “I may not see what grows from the seeds I plant. I just need to tell them the truth.” May we each keep being a lamp, the salt, the city for those we long to see His, being completely humble and gentle,patient, bearing with one another in love as He gently knocks on their souls 🙂
Jen says
Wow. You know those times when God blows ypu away by putting something right in front of your face when you really need it? This article is that. My dear friend has been struggling lately. She is not a Christian. And though she is loving and accept g of my faith, she is not receptive to hearing about Christ for her life. Thanks for this.
Kelli McKnight says
Beautiful story and words! Love this so much.
Carolyn says
I normally don’t comment but felt the need to ask for prayer. I became a believer 5 years after marriage. My husband of 42 years is an amazing man. A great husband, father, grandpa and friend to all who know him. He is more Christ like than some Christians I know. He his kind, caring and goes out of his way to help our neighbors and friends. He takes the knocks of life like water off a ducks back, but… he sees no need for God. We have many Christian and non Christian friends. He’s been to church many times. He’s heard the gospel preached. He’s seen God do miraculous things for folks we know. He allowed me to raise our child in church, give at church and support church ministries. He even has helped many times at functions. He feels that people are basically good. I think he feels there really is a no hell. I used to try to speak to him about the God but he did not want to hear it. I need prayer because I am the one who gets angry and say things I later regret. I’m a supportive wife and try to help him anyway I can. But I struggle with my emotions, loose my temper at times and end up with egg on my face, looking anything but Christ like. I want him to see Christ through my life. I need prayer. I pray too for the day his spiritual eyes will be open and the Holy Spirit will draw him to hunger for God. My hearts desire is for him to want to have a personal relationship with God.
Rebecca L Jones says
Very good article. Aren’t we always either trying to fix people or their problems for them. Even if you could fix everything, they wouldn’t grow. And people really do resent being told what to do sometimes even if it is the right thing to do. We have unsaved family members, now they are facing health problems, instead of praying just for salvation or someone to witness to them, ( Family won’t always listen to family. ) I prayed for Him to heal them. Jesus was questioned about this when He healed people, but it’s obvious He was doing both, forgiving and healing. If people receive that kind of prayer and get better, they should want to know about Jesus.
Christina Hubbard says
Love everything about this post, Kris. Thanks for sharing your before and after and the insight so many Christians (including me!) need to be reminded of. Keep sharing this story.
Cheri Johnson says
Kris, I love this. Very simple. Very doable. Very freeing.
Thank you.
Lisa Appelo says
Kris, this so this. I think if I understood, — really, really, really — the immensity of God’s love — I would be sharing Him in every conversation. I’d show it and tell it. <3 <3 <3 Thank you for sharing your heart for the gospel.
Dot says
Love is all there is to reach anyone. God is Love. So if God is Love, Love is God. It’s a simple equation, God = Love, therefore Love = God. So simple, but so often we just don’t get it. If we love, we are of God and God can do all things so, like Lisa Appelo wrote: “<3 <3 <3." There is no other way to show God to unbelievers without showing them love. No amount of wheedling, cajoling, arm-twisting, begging will bring the lost to salvation. If love does not, then we must remember Who is Love and if they reject Love, they reject God. Hard but simple truth. I lost my brother in April and no amount of love would change his mind that he wasn't even an atheist, he believed in nothing, no heaven, no hell,no God: "We live, we die, that's it." His words. Yet he was a wonderful, "loving" and caring person that I knew and loved longer than any other person in my life – almost 67 years. Hard that it is and I have cried many tears into my broken heart, we must love, with no expectation, no claim to a prize not assured, just love, because Love = God and that IS all there is. The rest is up to each person and we must not accept guilt for just doing what we are commanded to do (Matthew 28:18-20), but is in the final analysis is up to someone we cannot "fix." That is their choice. God's love is waiting for every soul on this earth – yes, everyone – as He is willing to forgive anything – yes, anything, if we are willing to repent and ask for forgiveness with "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise." — Psalm 51:17. Can we even wrap our heads and hearts around this? A murderer? A terrorist? A pedofile? Whatever your mind can think up as the worst of the worst? This is unconditional (agape) love and we can only emulate it, mimic it, try to fathom it. God is a Master of it because He is the Master, the Only One who truly Loves, beyond anything we can ask or imagine: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen." — Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV. We love, we wait, we may never see, but Love is all there is to reach anyone willing to change. God = Love…
Beth Williams says
Kris,
Your words are helpful. No one ever really explained how to share the Gospel with others, especially those who don’t want to hear it. You’ve made it clear. Just simply state the obvious and tell them how God changed you and let the Holy Spirit do His work. I also try to show God’s amazing love to others by doing small simple acts of love–visiting the assisted living and taking dad out for a walk, cooking food for others, buying supplies, etc.
Blessings 🙂
James C Long says
I have put together with the help of the Lord a line of Prayer of Salvation 8.5″x 11″ pictures. My pictures tell people how to get saved. Tell people how they can become a Christian. I believe with the help of the Lord, my pictures can help thousands and thousands of people come to God. God our Savior, who desire all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. We as Christian should always help people come to God. I need help getting the word out to the people. Will you help me?